Tuesday, December 27, 2016
I've become obsessed with numbers and all the new technology of everything fitness related. I've got several fitness apps on my phone, I've gone through several fitness watches. Which I will say I've loved my fit bit.
It has encouraged me to find ways to get the steps in. I've become fixated on the 20,000 steps a day number. There have been studies saying they aren't always accurate so I figured 20,000 was a safe number to make sure I was getting plenty of active steps in.
So to the point. Yesterday my beloved fit bit died and I accidentally left the charger at home in Vegas. So my arm feels a little naked today not having it on. I've been reflecting on how I've become a sucker for all things fitness related.
The last few years have been a little bit of a struggle in that I had some seriously painful back issues and just last year a simple knee surgery. I've still been active which is what I enjoy. However it has been occasionally frustrating knowing that my pace has slowed way down and that well basically I feel old. :) I can feel all of the aches and pains a lot more now and it is more difficult to do things. Which in turn affects my motivation. I'm coming to know the aging process, and it is oh so fun. ;)
So all of this reflecting has led me to this conclusion. I'm going technology free for fitness! I'm going to listen to my body and focus on minutes active rather than distance, steps, pace, competing with friends on apps, etc. I'm kind of excited. I limited myself on activities based on my fit bit because I wanted to make sure I got my steps in. For example I couldn't go swimming with my fit bit so what was the point of doing that. (Swimming is great for people with back problems). I have been too stubborn at getting those steps in. So I'm excited. I think it will be tough for me not to track everything since I have been doing it for so long.
Also I have tried nutri system, and had friends have meal plans created for them, and I recently looked at the popular blue apron 'like' sites, where you get fresh food delivered to you. Can I just say, "YUCK!" who wants to eat weeds! And it is so expensive. So here is my other idea. I'm no cooking expert, but I have learned a few healthy eating habits. So the other side of it is that I think I may use this blog to 1. Keep myself accountable for the technology free fitness, and 2. Share healthy eating tips, recipes, etc.
I'm hoping that by doing this it will help to keep me motivated for fitness, and nutrition. I know there are about two people who may follow this blog, but please feel free to share your recipes and ideas as well. My track record for posting on this blog is about once a year so I guess I'll see how well this idea plays out! :)
Friday, November 27, 2015
I’m 33, Mormon, single, and currently sitting in my parents basement over thanksgiving break with nothing better to do then write rough drafts of what it’s like being single for me.
Lets throw it back to when I was 14 or so laughing and giggling with my two best friends in Young Women’s. That was the life. Care free, no clue what the future would hold, but loving and eating up the idea that we would all get married when we were 18 or so and have our own families.(Oh the stories and life lessons we have all learned up to this point…and none of us followed ‘the plan’)
I think my disasters of dating started all the way back then as well. My first “kiss” was in the back of one of my friend’s parent’s station wagon. We had just got done Roller Skating. The kiss was a dare from our friends so of course we couldn’t back down. (so telling of my life and not backing down from challenges or things people thought I couldn’t do). We pecked each other on the lips and that was that. We never did it again. I had a weird kid in our church group that chased me around a corn maze and let me know how much he liked me. I had crushes on my friend’s brothers.
I actually did date someone in High school. He was a kind boy. But even that situation had its own disasters. He asked me to prom with a note he put in a cheeseburger he had bought me at Wendy’s. He forgot money to the prom so I actually ended up paying. We went to a drive in movie after I had gotten sunburned after swimming. He proceeded to put is arm around my sun burned back and I did everything I could to stop myself from throwing his arm off of me and punching him. Poor innocent, stupid me thought, “I like him”, and didn’t say one thing to him. I’m rolling my eyes right now.
Don’t worry it gets better in college. I tried to sort of date my friends brother. Our parents were all for it. Me? Not so much. I don’t do well when thing are not my idea or things are somewhat forced upon me. Luckily college had opportunities to meet several great guys. Some guys I fell for, some didn’t fall for me. I guess that’s the beast of dating. I had fun with guys, pretending and pulling pranks at ward prayer, starting rumors that one of the guys had proposed to me with his high school class ring. I was pretty ridiculous. And so were they for suggesting such silly things. I dated another guy for a while, and it wasn’t until he was severely against me even thinking of going on a mission and me praying about it and knowing that I should go that things ended.
Pause for a mission, (wonderful experience I can’t leave that out) Now I’m back! I’m heading to Las Vegas to do my student teaching! I end up dating a guy I casually dated in college before the mission that was in Vegas doing student teaching as well. I really fell for this guy. Before I knew it we were casually talking about the possibilities of getting married. Then the next thing I knew I was finding out things I wasn’t ok with. I had close friends say he would get an occasional alcoholic drink. He was spending a lot of time with a female coworker. Things started to not feel right. I talked to him about things and he got really defensive and called me self -righteous for even mentioning those concerns. It hurt I cried and took a long time getting over it and moving on, but I did.
Then along came another charmer. He was funny. I met him while I was home one summer in Idaho. We had really fun time together and laughed and laughed and laughed about anything and everything. He came to Vegas several times and when I was in Idaho I would see him. Here is the trick about long distance. It’s hard to make it work if both people aren’t fully invested. I quickly learned I wasn’t as invested.
There are so many more, but I’ll try to summarize most of them, the guy that moved across the country to date me. That was overwhelming. The online dating guys are crazy lets just not even go there. Can I just say creepers! Please don’t be a creep and ask creepy things. The In and Out burger guy, he was way to young. Bankrupt guy. First Friday guy, not Mormon guy, boating guy, travel guy, attached at the hip guy, ask to get married after two dates guy, and Alaska guy.
I’m not writing all of this to be a Debbie downer or to brag. I’m just starting with the fact I’ve had opportunities to date, and ‘they’ a large majority of them have been a disaster. Obviously it isn’t always their fault. I’m quite the unique, and independent person, so it makes things a little difficult.
Let me get to a little meatier conversation. To all of you single people out there. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD TO BE SINGLE. I’ve experienced the young single adult scene and now I’ve put in a year at the mid single scene. I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve seen people date and break up, I’ve seen people get married and then divorced within the same year, I’ve seen people married and have children right away, and some not. I’ve seen a lot of heart ache because of poor choices or other people’s choices or no ones fault at all, I’ve seen great people hardly date at all, and I’ve seen a lot of joy. I’ve seen a lot of weirdness.
I’ll admit I’m the last person that should give advice on dating and marriage. But I’m going to give it to you anyway. Please don’t rush things. My new favorite quote, “If you force a fart other stuff is going to come out.” It’strue! Don’t rush things or force things to happen. Most importantly listen to the spirit. Make sure it is the spirit and not just infatuation, or lust. Do a little refresher course on fruits of the spirit.
By no means am I trying to discourage people from getting married, I am just hoping that people will be smart about it. It is a big eternal consequence decision. Secondly I have watched and observed a lot of marriages and how people interact. Marriage is hard. It is not for the faint of heart. To be completely honest, I see some of these examples of marriage and it makes me grateful I am still single. That is not what I want out of a marriage, but I also realize I will have to work really hard to follow the example of those peoples marriages that I respect and love and want to try to replicate.
One thing I did want to touch on is allowing our selves to be vulnerable. Not in a bad way to be taken advantage of, but to be open to be out of our comfort zone. It is easy to push aside things that are out of our comfort zone because we are comfortable. This is something I struggle with. If it isn’t inside my box of ideas, I tend to push it far aside. A lot of times, pushing people or ideas away has worked out for the best for me, so it is hard to push myself past my limits when it comes to people. I will say that people have failed me in the past so it is hard to put trust in people for me.
Lastly, while it is not ideal that I am not married. I am at peace with it. At times it is discouraging, lonely, sad, and frustrating trying to get people to understand where I am coming from.(especially family and friends). Overall like I said before I am at peace with it. I’ve had amazing opportunities and learned some irreplaceable life lessons and I personally believe I’ve become a better person from it all.
I will keep going to my mid singles ward every Sunday where we have more than enough social oddities to keep me entertained. I’ll keep going to family home evening activities to keep me in the right frame of mind. I’ll keep spending holidays with my family when I rather be off traveling to avoid the single conversations and fact that I feel like at times I have minimal things in common with some of my siblings and their families and their unique circumstances that keep themselves involved and busy with their own families. So I’ll help when and where I can. I’ll continue to enjoy my life. I’ll enjoy my friends, I’ll enjoy the fun times at work, I’ll continue to date, I’ll continue to travel and find fun things to do. I’ll continue to serve where ever and however I can. I’ll continue to go to the temple, pray and read my scriptures so that I can stay close to the spirit. I’m single. I’m not dead, or dying.
This is a small slice of my single life. I know we each have different lives and trials. I truly believe each of our lives are handcrafted and personally tailored to us. So all though you may be married you may have other struggles to manage and deal with. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times. We are all here to help each other. Lets not get so self -absorbed that we forget to help the people around us even our own family members. This life was never meant to be easy. Don’t be takers only, but be givers. Even if it’s a listening ear or a meager smile, do something to help someone else in this game called life. We all need the encouragement and help.
I will end with my favorite quote by president Gordon B. Hinckley. “Life is to be enjoyed not just endured.”
I look back on all of my experiences and can laugh and see how each one of theses situations have helped me progress in life. Don’t forget to laugh; it keeps you young. 😂